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surprisebitch:

so i have a friend and he just had sex then he said that when he was about to release, he pulled out of the girl and he quite panicked and there was a potted plant beside the couch so he went there and came onto the plant

ever since then, we call him “fertilizer man”


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zarry:

people who always change their opinions to match with someone elses  

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binkshapiro:

i cnt stop laughing fuck

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hoebama:

pretty girls who can pull off messy hair and no make up and have eyebrow game strong enough to kill half the population are a serious threat and i am afraid of them


spellthief:

If I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.

          -Hayao Miyazaki (x)


sugarrette:

fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me




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exoticwild:

What I’m really terrified of is leading an average, ordinary life with a regular job and an invariable routine, planned holidays, an average household, fixed responsibilities and not doing anything different to be remembered by.


tacodwell:

I remember when I was a fetus I used to sneak out at night while my mother was sleeping




15 hours ago  -  via - source    # ref

  • grandma:  DO YOU WANT AN APPLE
  • me:  no thanks grandma
  • grandma:  HERES YOUR APPLE

hellchesters:

being in the classic rock fandom is the worst because you live in a constant fear that you wake up one day and one of your fave rockstars will be dead


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